⚡Day 9. First, then, finally.
Welcome back for week three of Flash February!
Last week’s prompts1 were all about turning real people into characters and personas on the page. This week, we’re focusing on time—how we recreate or rearrange events in narrative for maximum impact.
We’ll start by thinking about stories that unfold on the page much as they do in real life—chronologically.
Our simplest (and for this reason, sometimes most boring) stories have a beginning, middle, and end. Something happened, and then something else happened, and then something big happened, and then, a little while later, things stopped happening.2 Sometimes this kind of story can be rather tedious, but this structure can be highly effective in flash, especially when there’s something obvious at stake—as in Penny Guisinger’s “Raptor” and Wendy Fontaine’s “Badge.” We really want to know: What happens next?
PROMPT #9
Tell a suspenseful story with a tight, straightforward chronology.
Start with something that happened—an encounter (with whom?), a noise (what was it?), a decision (what will you do?). ?
Try not to get bogged down by exposition. Sure, you might need to provide a little context, but try to avoid the urge to do a deep dive into setting or character or how you were feeling. Any flashbacks should be just that: a flash. Keep it moving!
And then what happened? And what do you want readers to think might happen next?
As the tension builds, you might find a good place to pause and reflect, briefly.
And then what happened? And where does the story end?
Write for 15-20 minutes.
Share: The beginning of your story.
See: Freytag’s pyramid.
It was supposed to be a routine visit. My boss, his attorney, asked me to stop by the local jail and check on him before they shipped him back to Death Row. So there we are, locked in a room, sitting across from each other, talking about nothing when out of nowhere it blows in, tosses about blindly, can't find an exit and sucks up all the oxygen. Rage.
Suddenly he's shouting, words running together, noise level rising, and there's no stopping it. Like when I was a kid watching a storm come up the lake, knowing it's going to blow everything off the dock, fill the boat with rainwater and drench me, and still I stand there.
And then the worst possible thing happens. Or the second worst, since the first worst would be for him to jump across the table and strangle me. The second worst thing possible happens. I lose control and my fear, so carefully stowed away, breaks free and mixes with his rage. Now we're in it and I don't know what to do next. Except, I flash back to when I was a young mother with a child who's flipping out into a full-blown tantrum and because I have vowed never to touch her in anger again, all I have is . . . . "Stop it! Stop it now," I say loudly, decisively, in a last-ditch effort to pull him back from the brink, and he takes the lifeline I throw to him.
A few days later he calls me at work. He accuses me of being afraid of him but what I really hear is an apology. And so it goes. Two fellow travelers who meet up in hell, avoid the worst of it, and then move on.
Upper West Side, NYC, on a clear, cold winter Saturday.
I travel the city to do house calls to cats and dogs to help them (and sometimes their people) with Reiki (energy healing), TTouch, behavior tips and more. I had just finished two very successful kitty sessions with people who lived within a few blocks of each other, and was feeling that extremely open and sort of spacey feeling that I can get after sharing Reiki with animals. A little light-headed but happy.
Just walking along feeling the crisp air, grateful it is a few degrees warmer today and I don’t have to brace myself against the elements so much. I am a petite person but my visualization of myself and feeling of my energy field is much bigger than material reality. And that energy feels like it expands when I am feeling good and can feel a bit of warmth from the sun.
Turning the corner onto Broadway, where there is busy Saturday people-traffic.
Suddenly my radar catches a tall, big white man with a very angry face and he is coming straight towards me. Why is he staring at me!
At this point things are going fast, but seem in slow motion at the same time. I veer to the side to get out of this guy’s path, but it’s hard because there are so many people walking in both directions at the same time.
He veers in the same direction so he is STILL coming towards me.
Then BANG! I’m going through the air and land with a thud. He had walked into me with full force, like I was in HIS path and he wasn’t letting me stop him. I wasn’t sure how injured I was but I had to get out of there as soon as possible.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” he’s yelling and yelling at me but I refused to look his direction, just turned to the side and crossed the street, hobbling a little and my hand was scraped but I was walking, so that was good.
“YOU BITCH! YOU GODDAMN BITCH!” He’s still yelling in my direction but I just keep moving and duck into a Walgreens store so I can take a breath and see what just happened to me.